Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Looking in the Mirror

I am having a reflection crisis. I can't stand what I see when I look in the mirror. Dare I say it that I look like my mother? My weight gain is not flattering and I feel it is getting a stronghold on my psyche. I find myself staring at women's stomachs on TV and seeing how flat they are. Even at my thinnest I never had a flat stomach but I had a great shape. My breasts feel enormous. By dropping the weight, I know the "girls" will also get smaller. I went up 6 inches in my bra band. I went shopping yesterday to get some shorts and shirts. I got shorts with the idea that yes, they fit but I don't want to wear them next year. What is preventing me from being successful? I don't like going to WW when I'm up and yes, I am up. Actually, that's the time I really should be going because I need the help but I like to see my weekly weigh-ins go down! My cholesterol is slightly elevated and for me that is devastating. I always had low cholesterol. It's proof of what 30 extra pounds can to your body! I was walking but it got too hot.

What changes can I make? I can start walking in the mall after I drop Elijah off at camp. I can stop getting bored and grabbing for stuff and get busy by spending 15 minutes straightening something up, reading, knitting, etc. I have lots of things to do. I can reward myself for positive changes. Nothing big. Time to knit would be a good reward. A cold beverage at Starbucks. I should think of working on 5 pounds at a time. My body responded really well to exercise. So why did I stop? Schmuck!

I feel better putting these feelings into words. I see that I do have the mindset to work on this weight. It's like knitting. One pound at a time. One row at a time. My health is worth it.

OKC: Simple Stripes Fair Isle Socks

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